


Days of Our Courtship

by werewindle



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 09:24:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4473956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/werewindle/pseuds/werewindle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of moments from Spike and Xander's (Not) Very Proper Courtship. </p><p>Each is inspired by a prompt from <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/windles_orbit">windles_orbit</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Demon Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike gives Xan a gift. windles_orbit prompt #18 fish.

Xander poked the water filled bag sitting on his kitchen counter. "What is it?" 

"Fish. See: fins and scales and such." Xander gave Spike a skeptical look. "What?! You said you wanted a pet. Fish are pets. Side‘s, how many blokes you know got a Nei-glae’as fish? Demon pet that is. Exotic like." 

"Riiiight. And WHY are you giving me a demon fish?" 

"It’s traditional." 

"Traditional?" Xander asked, poking the bag again. 

"I’m courting you aren’t I?" Xander nodded. "It’s a trinket." At Xander’s raised eyebrow Spike rolled his eyes. "Well I’m not going to bring you flowers like some Nancy-boy and you’d be all prissy if I filled a hope chest with the ears of your enemies." 

Xander looked a little green at that suggestion. "Ok, demon fish good - box of ears bad." Xander turned and started digging in the cupboards for a glass bowl, all the while muttering to himself. "Demon fish trinkets, Victorian courting rituals, evil vampire boyfriends - my life is a frickin’ soap opera. * _Tune in next week for Children of the Hellmouth when Xander turns into a woman and Spike and Angel switch bodies!_ *" 

"You say something Xan?” Spike asked holding back a smirk. Xander just huffed and plopped down a large funny shaped clear glass bowl and lid on the counter. 

"Finally found a use for An’ and Hallie’s house warming gift." Xander tipped the fish into his new home and watched as it floated there. Looking a lot like a seaweed tennis ball. "So... demons consider this thing exotic?" 

"Sure. They’re right pretty - once they mature. Doesn’t look like much now of course, but it’s just a baby. Hadn‘t shed its kiddy skin yet."

"Ahhhh” Xander added more water to the fish’s bowl and set the lid on top. He wasn’t sure if the thing could flop out and try to escape but he wasn’t taking any chances. 

"Come on Pet, gotta swing by the Slayer’s and pick up little Bit." Spike called from the front door, already sliding his duster on.

"Hey, Spike. Remind me again why we’re taking Dawn with us to the movies? I thought we were going on a date."

"Courting couples must be accompanied on outings by a chaperon." 

"I knew it, I’m living in a soap opera. There are people out there right now laughing and plotting next week’s episode." 


	2. Tiger Prize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike and Xander at the fair. 
> 
> Written for windles_orbit prompt #31 Tiger

Once again Xander and Spike were out on a date - accompanied of course by their chaperone Dawn. This time they were attending the state fair. They'd been there for a couple of hours. They'd ridden some of the rides, eaten lots of fair food and were now wandering around checking out the games and venders.

Dawn tugged on Spike's sleeve, "Look!" The teenager was pointing to a small purple stuffed lion on display as a prize at one of the game booths. "Win me that, pleeease?" Dawn begged the vampire. 

Spike snorted, "I'm on a date with Xan - I don't have to win you anything, Bit." 

"You can win one for him too." Dawn waved away the protest. "That way he'd have a memento of your date to the fair. Right Xander?" 

Xander smirked as Spike rolled his eyes, "Sure. But I want ... that one." Xander pointed to a huge tiger, barely holding back a giggle at Spike’s grimace. The tiger was almost four feet long, black with acid green stripes and a gray underbelly. Xander batted his lashes, "Win it for me?" 

"I thought you'd gotten over your addiction to neon, Pet?" 

"Oh no, Spike. I just hide well." Xander replied in a grave voice. "I'm a functioning neonholic." 


	3. B. and Sons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike takes Xander to an unusual shop. 
> 
> Written for windles_orbit prompt #21 Henna Tattoo.

"Bartholomew and Sons - Purveyors of Fine Body Art Since 1680. Nice name, all stately." Xander commented. "But... 1680? This isn't a human establishment is it?"

"The original is a demon shop over in London. This place is run by a cadet branch - all half-breeds." Spike ground out his cigarette and pulled open the shop door ushering Xander and Dawn in. The back wall held a painting of the first Bartholomew and Sons. Crowed around it and spilling around onto the other walls were photos of their work. Beautiful tattoos, delicate piercing and intricate henna designs made a kaleidoscope of color brightening the small room. 

There was a perky purple haired girl sitting behind the glass display counter. The only hint that she wasn't completely human was her slightly pointed ears. "Hey guys! I'm Maylin, Welcome to B and Sons. Are you just looking around or do you know what you're getting done?" 

Spike stepped over to the counter leaving the other two looking at the photos. "My boy and I are going to a solstice bash. We need henna bonded marks done - Vampiric and Threshan so there’s no misunderstanding. Some of Clem's family is a bit grabby." 

Maylin glanced over at Xander for a long moment. "We sell collar and leash sets too."


	4. A Play in the Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go to see a play. Written for windles_orbit #26 ‘a play in the park’

“So what does one where to a play in the park?” Xander asked as he came up behind Willow and Tara as the walked across SU’s quad.

“Eep! Xander! What?” Willow blew a stray lock of hair from her eyes and loosened her death grip on Tara’s hand. 

“Play. Park. Clothes?” Xander made begging, I’m-cute-and-hopeless-and-you-want-to-help-me eyes at the girls. 

“Um, I guess, that would depend on when and what you’re going to see.” Tara grinned shyly at him. 

“Saturday, midnight showing and I have no idea what we’re seeing.” Xander pouted. “Spike won’t tell me.” 

Willow laughed at her best friend and grabbed him by the arm leading him over to the parking lot where she knew his car would be. “Well he must be taking you out of town, there aren’t any theater groups playing in Sunnydale right now. Don’t worry Xander we’ll help you get all dolled up. But. This will require... SHOPPING.” 

“Oh, no Wills! Not the shopping! Save me Tara!” The brunet made a mock frightened face and drug his feet. 

“Sorry Xander, there’s no escape for you.” 

  


* * *

  


“Ok we’re here. Now, what are we seeing.” Xander demanded as they got out of the car. The damned vampire had kept quiet the whole way to LA and all through diner. 

“Yes Spike, I’d quite like to know as well.” Giles was playing chaperon tonight. 

“It’s a comedy Pet, should be right up your alley.” 

“Uh-huh. But what is it? A Shakespearean something or other? Or-” Xander suddenly stopped at the sight of a large sign. Giles groaned when he saw what made Xander stop. Spike just smirked and pulled Xander along the path to where the audience was spreading out on the dimly lit park lawn. The vampire unfurled a blanket and the three sat down just in time for the play to start. 

“Welcome one and all to the fourth and final midnight showing of [_3 Guys in Drag Selling Their Stuff_](http://www.stageplays.com/products/3_guys_in_drag_selling_their_stuffcategorycyberpresscode273) !


	5. Vampire Bubble Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why Buffy won't chaperon. Written for Nephir and windles_orbit #46 Pomegranate

This whole chaperon thing was getting out of hand. First, Giles refused to even be in the same room if Spike and Xander's courtship was being discussed, let alone accompany them ever again – he was quite adamant about that, in a very huffy British way. Then Buffy decided that Dawn was just too happy about playing chaperon and therefore Spike must be corrupting her in some as yet unexplained way. Protective older-sister side in full force, Buffy proclaimed she was going to co-chaperon the next date.

Spike had, surprisingly, agreed with little fuss. Xander was worried but figured Buffy could handle herself. 

The sisters had shown up a bit early for the night's excursion. They were going to go to a holiday bazaar to see a show, eat their way around the Viking themed food tent, and pick through the wares and crafts on display. Xander was hoping to find a friend for Kale, his little demon fish, who had finally shed his baby-skin. The little guy looked kinda lonely – and blue but that was mostly the scales. 

“Whatcha making?” Buffy asked,changing the subject from what type of company Kale might like. The feathered, scaly, six finned thing gave her the creepy-crawlies. 

“Vampire Bubble Tea.” Xander replied and presented her a glass, sliding a straw into it with a flourish. 

Buffy took a sip and munched on the red pearls mixed in the liquid. “What's the little chewy things?” 

“Ticks.” Spike replied with a smirk. 

Buffy spit the mouthful she had out.“Are you insane!? Ticks! Ugh.” She moaned, wiping at her tongue with a paper towel. 

Xander rolled his eyes at a snickering Dawn. “They're not real ticks, Buffy. They're pomegranate seeds.”He snagged one of the red fruits from the huge basket on the counter and shook it under her nose. “I'm just calling them ticks to go with the drink theme. You know, pomegranate: food of the dead –vampires...” At her confused face he tried another explanation,“It's like when you peel grapes and call them eyeballs for that Halloween game?” 

“Whatever, Xander. I'm not drinking anymore though.” She set her glass on the counter and it was immediately snatched up by Dawn. Her own glass, practically licked clean, sat in the sink. The teenager slurped on the straw, draining a quarter of the rescued drink down in one go. She noticed the others staring at her and raised and eyebrow. “What?” 

“How can you drink that?” Buffy muttered. 

“It's good, I love pomegranate.” As if to prove her point she slurped up another huge swallow, munching the seeds as she left the kitchen. 

“Ugh. I change my mind, you two are welcome to Dawn, she is obviously insane already. Just leave me out of your domestic weirdness.” Buffy shuddered and snagged her purse.“I need chocolate.” She muttered and headed determinedly for the front door.

**Author's Note:**

> I've marked this completed, since I haven't added any stories in a **long** time. As the chapters are pretty stand-alone I don't think that is an issue. 
> 
> If the muse strikes in the future there may be more, but don't hold your breath.


End file.
